Hi There I thought i would post something that i havent told many people and I thought id Post sometthing about me.
Im David and I'm Gay.
I first realized i was gay when i was about 13 when i was watching this film that was on tv,cant remember the film but remember thinking i quite fancy that guy in the film and also a couple of guys in high school i found attractive .
I tried to get the thoughts out of my head cause i was afraid of not being normal as i thought that was what i felt like at the time and also to my life worse i was heavily bullied at school which didnt help . I Went downhill and wanted to do some awful things to end my life of the bullying and the what i thought were dirty thoughts in my head.
Anyway i got chatting to someone who i knew was gay and he helped me through. I came around to the idea that being gay was not dirty and its just a part of you and you are no different to anyone else around.
Like people say you should tell some friends before you tell your close family. Idid that but i ended up with no friends because most of them disowned me because they couldnt take it and i think as some of them were guys that they thought i was gonna try and hit on them. We don'thit on every guy jsut to say. Now I think that was agood thing because it they cant handle me being myself then they are no real friends .
Iwas nervous telling my family and i couldnt tell them so i decided before i went to work the following day i wrote them each anote saying i was gay and my feelings why i wouldnt tell them . Before that i had told my sister and she was fine with it so that was a relief. Lukily My family reacted fine and they were supportive so that was a major relief.
I know many people dont have any support during when we most need it. I feel for those people because i know what it is like to feel so alone and wanting help but dont know what to do for the best.
One of my things that relaxed me was music or what i used to wtach comedy dvds.
One of the hardest things for me now if i like a guy im really scared to go and talk to him even though he is gay id be so scared to even approach him.
People have asked me in the past if i have agf and i have lied saying yes and gone as far as saying as making up random names and a story about it to cover my tracks. That was also down to because i had abf at the time and i was suppposed to be going out with people from work and i decided to stay in cause he cooked me a wonderful meal. Shame Couple of weeks later we broke up and i was down for along down.
Ever since i have been looking for aguy to date with no luck . I am still looking for a boyfriend but i am not obessive about it.
Now 1 month from my 20th birthday, god i am getting old, am glad to be leaving my teenage years behind because they have bben so stressful and i also dont regret anything i have done in these years because them things have made me the person i am today
My advice to anyone struggling with their sexuality like i was my advice would be try to condife to someone you trust or someone like adoctor or a teacher or someone like that and tell them how you are feeling .
Also find something you can do to try to focus on to get your mind off feeling it. Like listening to music just something you love to do and trust me it helps if you give it time.
If anyone wants any help on this subject you can either talk to me on facebook my profile link is in on the side just click the facebook link and add me that way or email me y0david6@hotmail.com or do a google search there are some great websites giving help to people who are struggling with their sexuality and succeess stories who are happy to help
I feel better now for writing about this and feel like aweight has been lifted thanks for reading
till next time
david xxx
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